


Whose side are you on?

by longhairshortfuse



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Family, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 06:51:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4696310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/longhairshortfuse/pseuds/longhairshortfuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Earl has an accident at work and Carlos takes his science too far.<br/>Can Cecil and Roger fix it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whose side are you on?

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "I'm becoming a fish"

Earl cursed. It was the last (he hoped) cover of the day and the server yelled out the order again when he shook his head.  
"TWO VENOMOUS SPINEFISH WITH BREWED ANTIDOTE ON THE SIDE, CRUSHED GRANDS-POIS-VERTS AND SEASONED CRISPED POTATO STICKS!"  
Earl rolled his eyes and cursed again. Dammit, he was too tired for mistakes tonight.

Making fish and chips with mushy peas and malt vinegar Night Vale style was tricky. He yelled at an underling to check the peas and ready the parboiled potato fingers for the fryer. He took charge of preparing the fish himself, as was his responsibility and his right since Chef LaShawn rarely actually cooked anything. Earl took two spiny fish corpses out of the refrigerator, slapped them on the polished stainless steel worktop and gut them with expert hands. 

He almost completely avoided the spines. 

The tiny prick on Earl's thumb barely bled. He washed fish blood from his hands and didn't notice the tiny wound. It took about ten minutes to cook, bubble the potatoes in oil for seven minutes then transfer to the hottest fryer for two minutes, drain and crisp, sprinkle sea-salt. The fish, floured and coated in beer-batter, fried hot for six minutes. The crushed peas added artistically in three quenelles made to look like petals. The vinegar supplied on the side, as requested, although Earl tutted at the clients' lack of trust in his skills. The server smiled, blew Earl a kiss and took the plates away. 

Earl felt a little off, tired and light headed, but put it down to a long day and a busy night. That was good, right? A busy night meant a decent income. He fingered his car keys, closed his eyes and headed back into the kitchen.  
"Hey, guys, anyone drive me home? I'm beat, can't keep my eyes open."

At least, that's what he intended to say.  
Earl opened his eyes.  
Mouth thick and dry, head aching, limbs stiff.  
Light so bright!  
Voices.

"Oh! You're awake! Earl, sweetie, you're going to be okay."  
The reassuring voice came closer. Earl smiled.  
"He can hear me. Carlos? Carlos!"  
"Hey Earl, honey, you had a real scientifically fascinating response to the--"  
"Shut up, Carlos, now is not the time for science."  
"But Ceece, it is always--"  
"Ca-a-arlo-o-os..."  
"Sorry babe. Earl? the doctor said you'll feel like shit for a few days but you will make a full recovery. Your diners saved you with leftover anti-venom."

Earl woke again.  
"Hi there sleepy head, do you want some water?"  
Earl nodded. He allowed Cecil to help him raise his head and sipped at a plastic straw. He gulped at the cool liquid and sighed.  
"You going to stay awake? The doctor says if you can stay awake for a few hours she'll let us take you home. Carlos went to get Roger from school. They should be here soon."  
Earl frowned. "Sch'l? Sa'day!"  
"Ha! Oh dear. Earl, you know how time isn't real, right?"  
Earl nodded and breathed out a giggle.  
"You've been out for four days. It's Wednesday."

Earl waved his hand. Cecil caught it and held on, held it firm.  
"Hey, Earl, oh sweetie!"  
Earl felt a dip and a creak beside him, Cecil's arms wrap around him. A voice close to his ear, familiar, welcome scent of home in his lungs. A soft giggle.  
"I'm probably not allowed to do this."  
Earl brought a hand up to where he thought Cecil's face might be. His fingers found Cecil's hair as Cecil leaned in to kiss his cheek.  
Earl found a croak. "Ugh bet I stink."

Earl was allowed home the next day once he had proved he could not only stay awake but talk sense (relatively speaking), use the bathroom appropriately, eat and shuffle from his bed to his chair. It helped that Carlos and Cecil promised they were taking time off to "play nurse" which made Earl snigger and Carlos flush. Once home, Earl got settled on the sofa, refusing to go to bed.  
"Guys, I have been in bed for four, five days. It's enough."  
Carlos smiled and sat beside him. Cecil muttered something about Steve, the school run and the possibility of having to invite him in if he drove Roger home later as promised.  
Carlos took Earl's hand.  
"We missed you. Roger missed you. But..." Carlos frowned and looked around for Cecil then lowered his voice. "Please don't be offended but I used you for a scientific study into the effects of spinefish venom on humans. It was really useful, so thanks."  
Carlos kissed Earl on the cheek. Earl frowned.  
"Carlos," he croaked, "what happened?"  
"Shush, you were on a ventilator for a while. Rest your voice." Carlos held out an arm, inviting Earl to lean in for a snuggle. Earl shuffled over into the embrace and relaxed. Carlos explained. "You got caught by spinefish venom. It's fascinating, and the effects are so amazingly interesting! I took plenty of video on my phone so you can watch it and see what it did to you. You only got a little and your diners left the anti-venom. Your colleagues figured it out, made you drink some, dabbed some all over your hands and called for help. Ooh! Wanna see what cool effects the venom had?"

Cecil rolled his eyes.  
"Carlos, no, please, I refuse to watch. I saw this all first hand and I was worried sick about Earl. Don't play it. Earl, you don't have to watch."  
Earl attempted a laugh, wincing as dry lips cracked. "Ceece I want to see. I missed the whole thing!"  
"Fine. I'll go round to Steve and Abby's place, they said Roger can stay there for dinner if we like but he should be home with his dad. I'll fetch him while you two talk," Cecil almost growled the word, "science."

Carlos called after Cecil. "Aw, c'mon, babe, Earl wants to know!"  
Earl tried to call after Cecil too but only managed, "Cee..."  
Cecil came back and kissed Earl then Carlos. "I know, I just can't stand to see Earl like that again. I'll be back later with Roger, okay? I love you both so much!"  
And Cecil was gone. Earl looked up at Carlos. "Was it so bad that Ceece would rather be with Steve than us?"  
Carlos hugged Earl. "You were pretty out of it. Want to see or not?"  
Earl took Carlos's phone from him and chose the first video.

It showed Earl lying on a gurney in a pale green corridor. He was strapped down and fighting against his restraints. There was something fluid about his movement, not the uncoordinated spasming of disrupted neural activity, but an undulating current of muscle contraction flowing from his feet to his shoulders.  
"Oh wait!" Carlos paused the playback and plugged in earbuds so Earl could listen. Earl restarted the video, listened and watched for three minutes then paused it.  
"Carlos, did I say 'I'm becoming a fish!'"  
Carlos nodded vigorously. "It was amazing! You were so convinced, you wanted Cecil to take you to the Waterfront and set you free, despite the scientific fact that there is no water there." Carlos's face lit up. "Ooh the next bit is good, watch!"

Earl took out the earphones and stopped playback. He handed the phone back to Carlos. He sighed and shook his head. "Delete it."  
"But Earl," Carlos protested, "don't you want to know what you went through?" He smiled and put on his best puppy-dog eyes. "It was very scientific."  
Earl repeated his request. "Delete it, Carlos. I don't want to see myself in that condition. Please, delete it." Carlos pouted a little, tapping his phone. Earl sighed. "Who else has seen it?"  
Carlos looked up immediately. "What? Oh! Only me. I watched the clips and took notes, without naming any names, to use for my scientific study. Cecil has only seen the first little bit. I didn't let Roger watch. He only saw you after you were out cold from whatever they gave you at the hospital."  
"Then delete it!" Earl demanded. "You can tell me what happened, describe it scientifically without naming any names. I can trust you to do that, right? Delete the videos and give me just the scientifically interesting highlights?"

Carlos pouted again, mumbled his agreement and let Earl watch as he selected and deleted each video. Earl touched Carlos's arm. "Thank you."  
"Is this one of those times where I let science take over?" Carlos asked. "Are you upset with me?"  
Earl scratched his chin. "Yes, and yes. I trusted you, Carlos, but I didn't agree to be a subject for your study."  
"Oh." Carlos looked down. "Do you want me to delete my notes too?"  
Earl lifted Carlos's face with a hand under his chin. He nodded. "I am not one of your experiments, Carlos."  
Face burning, Carlos opened his laptop, moved the folder named 'fish' to the wastebasket then performed a secure delete. Earl sat back on the sofa and Carlos put his laptop away then left the room. 

The door banged and voices called from the hall. Earl yelled back, "Sofa!" and feet thudded through. Roger launched himself onto the sofa beside his dad for a hug.  
"I'm glad you're better now." Roger accepted a kiss on the head and grabbed the TV remote. "Can I watch cartoons with you before dinner?"  
Earl grinned. "No homework?"  
Roger scratched his head. "Um, I might accidentally have left my schoolbag at Janice's." 

Cecil headed upstairs to change. He found Carlos sitting on the bed, head down and in his hands, elbows braced on his knees. Cecil sat beside him and stroked his back.  
"You want to tell me what's up?"  
Carlos sighed. "Earl's upset with me. I deleted everything but I don't know what to do next."  
Cecil hugged Carlos once, a quick squeeze and let go. "Have you tried saying you're sorry?"  
"I didn't realise what a big thing it was. I'd want to know, if it was me." Carlos stared at the floor between his feet.  
Cecil sighed. "But it wasn't you. It was Earl. You should apologise."  
"How do I apologise for this? He must be angry, he was real quiet. If I burn something or use his kitchen stuff he yells and it's done, but he just went quiet."  
"Still, come down and tell him you're sorry, okay?"  
Carlos shook his head. "Ugh, all my observations, three days' work, gone."  
"Yeah, I tried to warn you--"  
Carlos snapped. "Whose side are you on?"  
Cecil hugged Carlos tight again. "Ours, honey."

Downstairs, Cecil joined Earl and Roger on the sofa. Earl reached over and ruffled Cecil's hair, smiled at him over the top of Roger's head. Roger got up and made for the kitchen. Cecil leaned over and kissed Earl.  
"Carlos is hiding upstairs."  
"Oh?"  
"He thinks you're upset with him."  
"I am."  
"Mmhmm. You gonna forgive him?"  
"Yeah."  
"Good."  
"But I'm not gonna go up there and tell him it's okay just to make him feel better."  
"Okay."  
"He didn't even say sorry."  
"Mmm."  
"What?"  
"He didn't _say_ sorry, but he deleted his work and he _feels_ sorry. Isn't that better than saying sorry and _not_ feeling it?"  
"I guess."  
Earl shifted in his seat. "Oh! Oh no, Ceece, you are not going to make me feel guilty about this when he's the one in the wrong!"  
"No," Cecil put his head on Earl's shoulder and smiled out of sight. "Of course not. He deserves to suffer, right?"  
"Cecil, whose side are you on?"  
Cecil shrugged. "Ours, sweetie. I'll go see if Roger will help me make dinner." He wandered into the kitchen, made a 'shush' face at Roger and took out his phone. A few minutes later, they heard heavy footsteps on the stairs.

Carlos peered around the living room door. Earl lounged on the sofa. He glanced up and back to the TV. "Hi Carlos."  
"Hi." Carlos went in and perched on the chair opposite Earl, tapping his fingers against each other rapidly. "Um, I'm sorry."  
"I know." Earl looked up again.  
"Can I hug you?" Earl shifted his feet and patted the sofa beside him. Carlos sat and leaned against Earl. "I really am sorry."  
Earl scowled. "I know. Forget it."  
"But I--"  
"Shut up about it, Carlos, you screwed up, I'm angry, but we're going to be okay. I'm not going to do or say anything else to make you feel better and I don't want to talk about it."  
"Okay." Carlos clasped Earl's hand and leaned his head on Earl's shoulder. Earl tried and failed to sustain his scowl. Instead, Earl rolled his eyes and lifted Carlos's hand up to kiss it.

Roger, peering through the gap in the door, gave Cecil a thumbs-up. Earl caught sight of the movement and called both Roger and Cecil into the room.  
"Hey, kid, whose side are you on?"  
Roger climbed onto the arm of the sofa beside his dad. Cecil sat on the other side of Carlos. Roger play-punched his dad's arm and smiled. "Ours, you idiot."


End file.
